JANELLE THIESSEN [00:00:03]:
Hey, my name is Janelle Thiessen, and it's my pleasure to welcome you to another episode of The Human Being Project by the Change evolutionist. In this podcast, I join my dad, Ron Thiessen, to explore the difference between being and doing.
RON THIESSEN [00:00:18]:
In a world of constant distractions, sky high expectations, and the relentless pursuit of more, we examine what would happen if we made space for more being and less doing.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:00:32]:
So with me today is Chantal Kozar, who was with us just two, three weeks ago. And she was looking for a way to incorporate some type of leadership mentoring into her life. Because she is a leader, an influencer, and she would really love to have somebody that she could turn to, that she could bounce things off of. Do I have that right, Chantel? Is that kind of what you were here for initially?
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:00:57]:
Yeah. No, I mean, those were my questions, but I feel like it's evolved since then.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:01:02]:
Mmm! Do share.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:01:04]:
Yeah, I feel like my question was, do I need a mentor? Where do I find one? Do I have to pay this person? Who is it going to be? And then the conversation with yourself and Ron, it just helped me to see that I kind of had this in a box, in this container of what it had to look like.
And then, you know, Ron was like, I think you're ready to up-level and you're ready to maybe seek out someone that you wouldn't think is accessible. So, since then, I have put thought to that, but there hasn't necessarily been anyone come to mind that I would like to reach out to. So for me, it's just got to be like, it's got to feel right.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:01:48]:
Yeah, totally.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:01:51]:
But the way I received that message after sitting with it was, I'm ready to up-level ME. I'm ready to up-level how I see things or how I view things. And I really feel like I can get mentorship from anything and anyone if I'm open to receive it. Right. Like, we had talked about my chiropractor and how I was kind of, like, surprised because I wasn't expecting that. But I feel like we're always open for mentorship or...Like, if I'm looking at it from a different perspective, right. I'm the mentee and I have a mentor.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:02:33]:
Like, it's not like that. And it's not like the girlfriends where you can just say what you're feeling. But I feel like I can get mentorship from my kids! Because my kids are talking to me unfiltered. They're not worried about my feelings. And isn't that what a mentor is in a way? Like, why does it have to someone older, who's more experienced, who's more successful? And so I felt like I could up level how I view mentorship and what it means to me.
And it doesn't mean that I won't find someone, like, traditionally who is a mentor, right? But right now, that hasn't really surfaced. And I really love so much how the conversation allowed me to have...it was like I needed permission, in a way, for it to be a man or for it to be anyone, right?
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:03:30]:
Like, once I realized, doesn't have to be like Mary Magdalene. It doesn't have to be someone who I kind of have a vision. It could literally be like my cat or the tree or I could get wisdom from anything. And we are. We're always getting wisdom from everything if we choose to see it that way.
And so I feel lighter about it. I feel less stressed. Like, I don't have one! Do I need one? Why do I need one? Right.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:04:06]:
I feel like the conversation really helped me reframe and ask myself, what is it that I'm really even looking for? Do I really need this? Just because someone on a podcast said, oh, it's really important for people to have a mentor.
And so, yeah, I think that it just gave me some peace and, yeah, I just feel lighter about it. I'm not stressed about it, and I'm just open. Part of my intention for this year is to be really open to receive whatever! And so I can receive mentorship or energy or whatever from anyone and anything at any time, really, if I'm open to it. So, yeah, I just feel quite at peace with it. Now, does it mean I'm not going to reach out to someone? No.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:04:58]:
I might if I feel aligned, if I feel like, oh, I would really like to have a conversation with someone. Your dad kind of made that okay. Like, I never even thought of that. So the next time, if that comes up, then I'll be like, yeah, I'm going to go with it, instead of saying, oh, no, don't bother, right What we tell ourselves. I feel really like...I really enjoyed the conversation and I really enjoyed where it led for me, which was some softening and relaxation into it.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:05:34]:
That's good. Yeah, sometimes you just need to be able to vocalize your thoughts out loud and you end up having, obviously always, you end up having the answers inside, right. So sometimes it's just that process of vocalizing it and sometimes getting feedback. And I think that's what he was talking about with mentorship and coaching feedback from people or even just some direction that sort of helps expedite growth. And so there's times for that and there's other times where you can self educate and self grow, like promote your own personal growth journey by that willingness. I've never even heard anybody saying, well, my cats or a tree or my children could be my mentors. And that's a great awareness because you're right!
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:06:23]:
Through every avenue available to us, we can receive what is basically our inner wisdom reflected back out at us. I love that!
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:06:30]:
Yeah, exactly!
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:06:33]:
Do you have anything else you want to share? Like any insights or ideas since the podcast that might help our listeners who maybe felt they needed mentorship or coaching, but maybe there's another way or there's other ways to go about figuring out if that's what you need.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:06:49]:
Well, I think it always goes back to why am I asking the question? And also, what does it mean to me? I feel like if you're looking for something, then it's really important to know, well, what am I looking for? What do I hope to achieve in that? And so the conversation with your dad and you just really helped remind me to ask those questions.
Not just like, oh, I need this! And we do that all the time. We're in this society where we want instant gratification. But yes, sometimes it's like, well, do I really want that? Do I really need that? What does it mean? And giving the time and space to allow that to bubble up.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:07:31]:
And maybe you feel like it's the right time to work for a mentor and someone shows up, right! So I feel like just be open and maybe just be open to having a vision, but also being able to trust that whoever it is that is going to be the person you need or the thing you need is going to show up for you.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:07:53]:
Yeah, that's cool. Make space for it. Just be open to it, I guess, without trying to rush out and create it if the time isn't right.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:08:00]:
Exactly. Yeah.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:08:03]:
And also, just one other thing. You and I both I know we've both read Eckhart Tolle, for example. I can't remember which author it is that says that everything that you need is within you.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:08:16]:
Yeah, that's Neil Donald Walsh. He's the one who said that, that I've heard. Maybe other people have said that, but he's the first person that I have ever heard say that, and that has been one of my mantras in the last, I would say ten years, for sure. Yeah.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:08:33]:
But I think for that to apply, you have to be open to that sort of growth happening inside. You have to be open to the lessons that are all around you.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:08:42]:
Exactly.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:08:43]:
Okay, well, thank you for coming in and sharing with us. It's so nice to touch base and see what happened and what your thought processes were. Thank you for that.
CHANTAL KOZAR [00:08:53]:
Yeah, I had a great time. Thanks for having me.
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:08:58]:
Join us next week when Ron talks openly about his personal experience with being vulnerable as a leader. He actually lets me dig a little deeper, past his deflections, to figure out why he thinks he needs to be just a little aloof to keep his professional edge. We talk about his need to be productive and why he feels more comfortable not needing anyone. Does he prefer solitude so he can be as productive as possible or is work a welcome distraction from vulnerability? We dive in head first next week. See you there!
JANELLE THIESSEN [00:09:33]:
What did you think of this episode? Head over to the private Change Evolutionist Community Chat to join the conversation. Find the link in the show notes.
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Ron Thiessen is a practicing psychologist and educator. To apply as a guest on the podcast please visit thechangeevolutionist.com/podcastguest.
